Last year I took time off after a significant season of loss. I got in my car with my dog and camping gear and headed south along the coast with the intention of spending time with good friends as part of the journey. There were a lot of wonderful things about the road trip, but I’m still stuck on one of the best nights I had that refreshed and healed me inside and out. It was the night we played tennis in the dark.
My friends are the kind of parents who encourage their kids’ creativity and have fun while doing it. So of course when the kids said after dinner, “let’s go play tennis” they said “okay”. We three adults pointed out it was dark and it would be hard to see and play tennis. But to the kids that sounded even more fun. Why not?! So we piled in the van, took crazy selfies, and headed to the tennis courts.
There was just enough light from the street lamps and park lights that we could see where one another was. But tennis? Seeing the balls? That was a disaster. At least if you try and measure it by official game rules. To the kids, the chaos and inability to see the balls was hilarious. And their laughter rubbed off on the rest of us (except my dog who preferred to stay on the bench, away from stray rackets and balls.)
We laughed and ran around and that led to the next idea to go enjoy the playground. We ran and chased and played some more. The kids wanted me to try the different things they were doing, like monkey bars and slides and swinging from poles. My attempts and awkwardness only led to more laughter.
There was freedom to play and explore and do whatever occurred to us in the moment — no judgment, no failing, just playing. Have fun and move on to the next idea.
We got back in the van and headed home and I felt release. There was something about playing that brought healing and freedom and joy in a way nothing else had in that trip. I still smile when I see tennis courts at night, remembering the gift of an impulse to play that we said “yes” to.
I try to make play a regular part of my Rhythm of Life, but I confess it’s hard. I don’t want to always be adulting so hard or producing so much that I miss the joyful innocence and restorative freedom of play. It’s a great way to hit my reset button. How sad that it gets harder to find that play reset as we get older.
I told another friend about my Rhythm of Play and she suggested this resource that outlines different “Play Personalities” and how meaningful she is finding play in her own life and for how she connects with her kids. Check it out here: What’s Your Play Personality?
There is also a ton of science to explore that supports the need to have a Rhythm of Play built into our lives if we want to flourish. Here is a Ted Talk with over 2 million views that unpacks more: “Play is more than just fun”
Some things I do regularly:
- Swing or zip line at parks during a walk or a run (often no one is using them!)
- Say “yes” when a kid invites me to play something like hide ‘n seek.
- Build a snowman or make a snow angel.
- Stomp in puddles.
- Draw or color.
- Tug of war and fetch with my dog.
- Jump on a trampoline.
- Dance in my living room.
- Skip on the sidewalk when it’s not a work out warm up.
- Try a new instrument or tuning.
There are a several other things I wish I did when they occurred to me! The hardest part is overriding my responsible, productive, adult, dignified brain and just going for it!
What is it that works for you? How do you play?
